What a little girl sees growing up on one single block in her hometown in the deep south – a granddaddy that had Alzheimer’s before there was name for it.   She would hear his shuffling feet across the worn linoleum with his cane tapping tapping tapping.  That sound brought terror to her belly.  She knew at any moment the cane would come flying through the air attempting to hit anyone that got in his way.     He was violent man striking out at the world.     Peering out the living room window, she sees two men her neighbor’s front yard; they are brothers; drunk and yelling at each other, each with guns in their hands, both of them – our local police officers.    Across the street, the local cab drive, running around the house naked chasing his wife with a gun, her screaming stop stop stop.    Inside my house on any given Sunday night, daddy coming home from the juke joints with violence in his soul from the violence he witnessed as a solider on the front lines in WW II,  from the violence he received at the hand of his daddy.  I witnessed my daddy  swing a gun around threatening to kill his own children.   A little girl witnessing her mama wondering if her sons wold return from the Vietnam war.   One son returns, a few months later, got in his new yellow corvette, drove it too fast on a rainy night into a tree.  That tree took my brother’s life.   My other brother came home, he was never the same, kept all those demons inside for fear of what would happen if he spoke the truth of what he did and witnessed during the Vietnam war.     I have seen what guns do to a family!  I have seen what violence does to a family.   And now our country is at war with each other.    We are killing each other in the name of protecting the rights to bear arms, in essence for white men to continue to attempt to hold to their illusion of power.    According to Newsweek, 63 % of the mass shootings in this country were done by white males.     White males are in a deep crisis of the soul and the crisis is called patriarchy.   Patriarchy is killing us and is killing the planet.   I do not have any answers to how to bring healing balm to the soul of my white brothers.  But, it is my plea that white males stop killing the people in our country.   We can barely catch our breaths until the next mass shooting happens.   We are in a perpetual grief ritual and yet we do not even have time to grieve and mourn before the next shooting. These shootings have   become normal in our country.    Somewhere I read, that the Russian t.v. is proclaiming American will have a Civil War with each other during the 2020 election.  American will not have a Civil War – white men will.    There is  deep deep wound in the soul of the white male and I’m telling it ain’t for some women to fix.  It is time for white men to be held accountable for the violence they perpetuate against women, people of color and the planet.   Because what I believe, is behind all that bravado, is a scared little boy that was told he had to act like a man when he was only 5 years old, told to stop you crying, told, don’t be a pussy, told you can’t play with dolls, told my son ain’t gone be no sissy, told to stop having feelings, to push it down so deep that the only thing that can erupt is violence.    I know I am probably preaching to the choir, but what I long for is deep, beautiful tender vulnerable male and a warrior that knows how to dance and  does not need a gun to be a man!