As this year’s cycle comes to a close, I take an inventory of the major crossroads events in my life from the year.  I hold them in my heart and mind, I turn them like a many faceted crystal to examine the wounds and the gifts.   One of the wounds & gifts this year was BETRAYAL.    I will be doing a ritual on New Year’s eve to honor this betrayal and to pick up the deep medicine that remains!

Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”
― Oscar WildeThe Ballad Of Reading Gaol


Joan of Arc by Rossetti

betray (v.) pastedGraphic.pdf

“betray, deceive,” from Latin tradere “hand over,” from trans- “across” (see trans-) + dare “to give” (see date (n.1)). Related: Betrayed; betraying.

When we hand over our power to another human being and do not honor the deep belly knowing that this human should no longer be in our lives, we are betrayed and we betray ourselves.

We create the illusion we can “help them, heal them, see their great potential and want to hold up the mirror to their magnificence.  But if that person shatters the mirror you are holding  because they are not prepared to receive the light you perceive, then are you betrayed or did you betray yourself!    Dancing with the potential of someone, instead of the reality is a dangerous tango!

Betrayal throws us into initiatory territory.  Innocence and trust is  lost and we are forced into becoming conscious and accountable for our actions that led up to that moment in time!

We can stay in the field of wanting revenge, denying the experience, becoming cynical or so defended we never allow another person to get “that close!”    I believe the ultimate journey is the pilgrimage of self-forgiveness and eventually reconciliation with the events that took place, not necessary the persons themselves.  Which is why ritual is such a powerful act!  We can lay to rest what no longer serves us,  build a fire, dig a hole, write your grievances upon a piece of paper, burn this paper and bury it into the dark earth.  Give a proper burial to old wounds, old stories, howl, cry, keen, laugh,  so we can pick up more of our beauty, our magnificent beings, dance into the New Year with joy and love, more more love!

Have a blessed 2016!

And I want to clarify for those that have experience violence, sexual abuse, in no way I am blaming the victim.  This is my meanderings on two people I brought into my life!